Glossary of Words and Terms for Jewish Living
Judaism is more than just a religion: it’s a culture, a language, a way of life. And, integrated fully into these Jewish traditions are unique words and sayings. Though words may have different roots or origins (Hebrew, Yiddish, German), their meanings are universal throughout the Jewish community. This glossary introduces some of the more common sayings appropriate for lifestyle and holiday events.
Berachah (pl. Berachot) – Blessing.
Shehecheyanu – Literally: “[God] who has kept us alive”.This is the blessing for beginnings, happy occasions. It is also said at candle-lighting, Kiddush, and at certain other specific times during festival observance.
B’rit Milah – Covenant of circumcision, traditionally performed on the eighth day of a boy’s life.
Mohel – Highly skilled ritual circumciser.
Kvater/Kvaterin– Godfather/Godmother: those who carry the baby into the b’rit ceremony
Sandak – Person who holds the baby during the ceremony.
Seudat Mitzvah – A festive meal which honors the observance of a mitzvah.
Mi Sheberach – Literally: “May the One who blessed”. A prayer usually, but not solely, recited after a person has been honored with a Torah blessing. There are various forms of this prayer, one of which is used to name a child.
B’rit HaChayim – Literally: “covenant of life”. A home ceremony for the naming of baby girls.
Pidyon Haben/Habat – Literally: “redemption of the (first-born) son/daughter.”Home ceremony which takes place on the thirty-first day of a child’s life.
Kiddush Pe’ter Rechem – Modern ceremony celebrating the birth of the first child.
Ken Ayin Hara (Kinna Hurra) – Literally: “against the evil eye.”
Chanukah – Literally: dedication.
Chanukat HaBayit – Literally: dedication of the house.Ceremonial hanging of the mezuzah.
Menorah – Seven- or eight-branched candelabra. Most commonly used to refer to the eight-branched Chanukah lamp.
Chanukiah – Eight-branched Chanukah menorah.
Gelt – Yiddish word for “money”; given as a Chanukah present, used for playing dreidel.
Dreidel – Yiddish for “top”; used in Chanukah game. Known in Hebrew as “sevivon“.
Nes Gadol Hayah Sham – Literally: “A great miracle happened there.”First letters of these four words are found on the dreidel.
Latke – Yiddish word for “pancake”. Potato latkes are traditionally eaten on Chanukah.
Sufganiyot– Jelly doughnuts served in Israel on Chanukah.
Ger/Gioret – “One who is invited to join the Hebrew tribe.”The masculine and feminine forms of the Hebrew term for convert.
Gerut – Conversion.
Halachah – Jewish Law.
Kabbalat Ol Mitzvot– Literally: “acceptance of the yoke if the commandments.”
Tevilah – Immersion in a ritual bath (mikveh) or any natural body of water which can serve as a mikveh.
Milah – Ritual circumcision.
Gan Eden – Literally: Garden of Eden; paradise.
Gehinom – Literally: Valley of Hinom; place of punishment.
Kevod HaMet – Honor due to the dead.
Taharah – Ritual purification.
Tachrichim – Burial shrouds.
Chevrah Kadisha – Group of people entrusted with the mitzvah of preparing the body for burial.
El Malei Rachamim – Literally: “God, full of compassion”; memorial prayer.
Keriah – Tearing of a garment or a ribbon as an expression of grief.
Shivah – Seven-day mourning period beginning with the burial.
Sheloshim – Thirty-day mourning period.
Unveiling – Dedication of the grave marker.
Yahrzeit– Anniversary of the death.
Kaddish – Prayer praising God. There are several Kaddish prayers recited during the service, one of which is recited in memory of the departed.
Yizkor – Memorial services held on Yom Kippur and on the last day of Pesach, Shavout, and Sukot.
Seudat Havra’ah – Literally: meal of condolence; prepared by the friends of the mourners.
Mitzvah – Commandment; obligatory responses to our Jewish traditions.
Minyan – Quorum of ten people necessary for public prayer.
Tzedakah – Literally: justice, righteousness; the Hebrew word we use for charity.
Bar/Bat (Bas) Mitzvah – Ceremony marking youngster’s reaching the age of religious majority.
Haftarah – Selection from the Prophets read or chanted after the weekly Torah portion.
Talit (Talis) – Prayer shawl.
Hebrew School – After-school Hebrew classes.
Sunday School – Classes in history, customs, and ceremonies.
Religious School – Term that includes both Sunday school and Hebrew school, though in some synagogues it refers to only Sunday school. Sometimes Religious school is referred to as Torah school.
Cheder – Old-fashioned term for Hebrew school. In Eastern Europe, it was the primary school.
Shabbaton (pl. Shabbatonim) – A Sabbath program of study and celebration.
Kallah (pl. Kallot) – A conclave or retreat.
Chavurah (pl. Chavurot) – Informal group which meets together for study and celebration.
Ulpan (pl. Ulpanim) – Intensive Hebrew course.
Kiddushin – Marriage.
Ketubah (pl. Ketubot) – Marriage contract.
Chatan – Groom.
Kalah – Bride.
Chuppah – Canopy; it can be a talit, velvet or silk canopy, or floral arrangement.
Ring – Traditionally it is solid, without stones.
“Harei at mekudeshet li betaba’at zo kedat Mosheh v’Yisrael”– Literally: “Behold you are consecrated unto me, with this ring, according to the Law of Moses and Israel.” This is the Hebrew nuptial formula.
Sheva Berachot – Seven traditional blessings recited or chanted after the exchange of rings.
Kiddush Cup – For wine, which is drunk after the Sheva Berachot.
Glass to Break – There are various interpretations of the symbolism. The traditional explanation is that the glass is broken in memory of the destruction of the Temple.
Yichud – Time spent alone together by the bride and groom immediately after the wedding ceremony.
Aufruf – Calling up of the bridegroom for Torah blessings on the Shabbat preceding the wedding.
Mikveh – Ritual bath traditionally visited by the bride prior to the wedding.
Fasting – Bridal couple traditionally fasts on the wedding day prior to the ceremony.
Get – Religious divorce.
Chanukat HaBayit– Literally: dedication of the house.
Mezuzah – Ritual object consisting of a casing and a klaf (scroll) which is put on the doorpost(s) of the house.
Klaf – Handwritten mezuzah scroll containing Deuteronomy 6:4-9, 11:13-21.
Pushke – Tzedakah box.
Kosher – Ritually fit.
Trefe – Literally: torn apart; food that is not ritually fit. It is the opposite of kosher.
Parve – Containing neither meat/meat derivatives nor milk/milk derivatives and which can be eaten with either milk or meat meals, e.g., fruits, vegetables, eggs.
Milchig – Foods derived from milk or milk products.
Fleishig – Foods derived from meat or meat products.
Pesach – Passover.
Seder – Literally: order; refers to program of prayers and rituals for the home celebration.
Haggadah (pl. Haggadot) – Literally: telling.It is our duty to tell the story of Passover, particularly to the children.
Matzah – The unleavened bread eaten in recollection of the hurried departure from Egypt. The eating of matzah is obligatory only at the seder. During the rest of Pesach, one may abstain from matzah as long as all chamets is avoided.
Chamets – Leavened bread and anything made with wheat, rye, barley, oats, and spelt unless supervised to ensure that it has not leavened.
The Four Cups – Each has a specific place in the service. The first serves as the Kiddush; the second is taken at the conclusion of the first part of the seder; the third is the cup marking the conclusion of the grace after the meal; the fourth cup comes at the conclusion of the seder. The four cups are said to refer to the promises of redemption made by God to Israel.
The Four Questions – Questions asked at the seder. The answers to the questions form the rest of the Haggadah.
The Cup of Elijah – Elijah is the herald of the Messianic Era when justice and peace will be realized.
Karpas – A green herb such as parsley or a green vegetable such as celery or watercress. It symbolizes spring.
Maror – The bitter herbs such as horseradish symbolizing the bitter plight of the enslaved Israelites.
Charoset – A mixture of fruits, nuts, and wine. Its color and consistency is a reminder of the bricks and mortar used by the Israelite slaves.
Shank Bone – Symbolic of the paschal sacrifice.
Egg – Represents the additional Passover festive offering, the “chagigah,” in the Temple.
Afikoman – A Greek word meaning “dessert.” We make the matzah the official dessert of the seder meal. To keep the children alert during the seder, the afikoman is hidden. The children find it and the leader of the seder must redeem it.
Opening the Door – We open the door to welcome symbolically the prophet Elijah.
Ma’ot Chitim – Literally: wheat money; money collected prior to Passover to assist the needy to celebrate the holiday.
Shabbat HaGadol– Literally: the Great Sabbath preceding Passover.
Purim – Literally: lots.
Megillah (pl. Megillot) – Literally: scroll. There are five megillot in the Bible. The one read on Purim is Megillat Esther.
Grogger – Noisemaker used to drown out Haman’s name.
Purim Schpiel – Humorous play put on at Purim.
Shabbat Zachor– The Shabbat immediately preceding Purim. Its name is taken from the additional Torah portion read that day- Deuteronomy 25:17-19 – which begins with the word “zachor” (remember).
Mishlo’ach Manot– Sending portions of food to friends to celebrate the holiday; also referred to as “Shalach Monos“.
Hamantashen – Filled three-cornered pastries supposed to represent Haman’s hat.
Rosh Hashanah – Literally: the “head of the year”; the New Year.
High Holy Days – Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Also known as the “High Holidays” or “the Holidays”.
Shofar – Ram’s horn.
Chet – Literally: “missing the mark”; a Hebrew term for sin.
Teshuvah – Literally: “returning”; a Hebrew term for repentance.
Selichot – Penitential prayers.
Tashlich – Traditional ceremony in which individuals symbolically cast their sins into a body of water.
L’Shanah Tovah Tikatevu – New Year greeting meaning “May you be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for a good year,” sometimes shortened to “Shanah Tovah“.
Yom Tov – Literally: “a good day”.The term has come to mean “holiday”. It is often pronounced Yuntiff and the standard holiday greeting is “Good Yuntiff”.
Gemar Chatimah Tovah – Literally: “May you finally be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for good”. After Rosh Hashanah and through Yom Kippur, this greeting is used.
Machzor – High Holy Day prayer book.
Shabbat – Sabbath.
Shabbos – Yiddish and Ashkenazic Hebrew pronunciation for the Sabbath.
Kodesh – Holy.
Kavanah – Intention.
Mitzvah – Commandments.
Minyan – Quorum of ten necessary for public worship.
Challah – Braided egg bread, for Shabbat and festivals.
Kiddush – Blessing recited or chanted over wine, emphasizing the holiness of Shabbat and festivals.
Tzedakah Box (Pushke in Yiddish) – Container for collecting money for charitable purposes. It is customary to give tzedakah prior to candlelighting in the home.
Havdalah – Literally: separation. Ceremony on Saturday night, dividing the Sabbath from the beginning of the week.
Shavuot – Literally: “weeks”. This festival occurs seven weeks after Pesach.
Confirmation – Ceremony marking completion of the religious school courses, often held on Shavuot.
Blintzes – Cheese- or fruit-filled crepes.
Simchat Torah – Literally: “Joy of the Torah.”Holiday marking the conclusion of the yearly cycle of Torah readings and the beginning of the new cycle.
Torah – Literally: “teaching.”In a narrow sense it is the Five Books of Moses, hand-written on a parchment scroll. In a broad sense, it is everything which flows from this (i.e. Judaism).
TaNaCH – Acronym for Torah, Nevi’im (Prophets), and Ketuvim (Writings)- the three sections of the Hebrew Bible.
Bimah – The raised platform in the synagogue where the Torah is read.
Aliyah -Literally: “going up”; the honor of being called to recite the blessings over the Torah.
Parashah – The weekly Torah portion.
Shemini Atseret – Literally: “the eighth day of assembly”; conclusion of Sukot.
Hakafah (pl. Hakafot)– Torah procession(s) around the sanctuary.
Sukkot – Feast of Booths. Name of one of the Three Pilgrimage Festivals.
Sukah (pl. Sukot) – Booths, hut, or tabernacle covered with branches and decorated with hanging fruit, vegetables, and other decorations.
Ushpizin – Mythic guests invited to the sukkah.
Lulav– Palm branch, with myrtle and willow sprigs attached.
Etrog – Citron.
Hakafah (pl. Hakafot) – Procession, circling the sanctuary with the Torah.
Yom HaAtzma-ut – Literally: “Day of Independence”; Israeli Independence Day.
Diaspora – Jewish communities outside of Israel.
Galut – Exile.
Zionism – The belief that there should be a Jewish homeland in Zion (Israel).
Hora – Israeli folk dance.
Yom HaShoah – Literally: “Holocaust Day.” A day set aside to remember the Holocaust and to honor the memory of those who perished.Shtetl (pl. Shtetlach) – A small Jewish village in Eastern Europe.
Yiddish – Judeo-German; the everyday language of the Jews of Eastern Europe.
Mamaloshen – Literally: “mother language”; affectionate term for Yiddish.
Pogrom – Organized attach on the Jewish community.
Anti-Semitism – An irrational hatred of Jews.
YOM KIPPURYom Kippur – Day of Atonement.
Shabbat Shuvah – Sabbath of Return, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It gets its name from its haftarah which begins “Shuvah Yisrael, Return, O Israel” (Hosea 14:2).
Kol Nidrei – Literally: all vows. Opening prayer for Yom Kippur eve.
Yizkor – Memorial service recited on Yom Kippur, as well as the last days of Sukot, Pesach, and Shavuot.
Yahrzheit Candle – Memorial candle lit on the anniversary of a loved one’s death and also on those days when Yizkor is recited.
Find more interfaith family resources on the Union’s Department of Outreach and Membershipwebsite.
Morning and Bedtime Rituals for Children
From the Union’s publications, Wake-Up Rituals: Crafting Jewish Tradition for Young Childrenand Jewish Bedtime Ritualsproduced by the Department of Lifelong Jewish Learning.
UPON WAKING
Modeh Ani is the traditional prayer to be said by children. Hold your child in a chair or sit on the bed with them, and share a special moment of closeness before the morning rush begins. Recite Modeh Ani together. For young children, sing or recite the blessing in English and in Hebrew. As they get older, encourage them to join you for the English and then later for the Hebrew.
Modeh ani l’fanecha, melech chai v’kayam, shehechezarta bi nishmati b’chemlah; rabah emunatecha.
I give thanks to You, O God, eternal and living ruler, who in mercy has returned my soul to me; great is your faithfulness.
BEFORE EATINGTake time in the morning to remember those who worked so that we would have food. Say a blessing as a family.
Baruch atah, Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz.We praise you, Eternal God. Thank you for the food you provide for us to eat. BEFORE GOING TO BEDThe Sh’maThe Sh’ma has been the Jewish declaration of faith for thousands of years. Jews everywhere say the Sh’ma, but especially in the morning and at night, to remind ourselves that life is a gift from God.It is our personal and communal expression of belief in God and in the unity of the Jewish people, as well as our recognition that there is a relationship between God and the Jewish people.
The Sh’ma is between you and God and between you and your child. It is an expression of belief and affection. Feel free to express love for your child as you express love for God. Show your affection visibly.What Works Best for you and your child should be your guide to crafting your own Jewish bedtime ritual. You can begin by just reciting the Sh’ma, or looking at colorful picture books, or humming a relaxing melody.Transforming bedtime into Jewish time lets your child understand that being Jewish is a way of life, and a constant source of comfort.
Let’s be like Avraham and Sarah and change the world one person at a time.
The ambitious goal of articulating a broad, coherent and compelling vision for Orthodox Rabbis is fraught with difficult questions such as: How do we maintain a balance between the values of centralized authority and personal autonomy in halachik decision making, particularly for status issues that relate to the global Jewish community such as conversion policies and standards? How do we provide and promote a ‘big tent’ philosophy welcoming Rabbis who share different approaches and philosophies while at the same time maintain boundaries of acceptable halachik and hashkafic (ideological) ideas and behavior? How should the agenda of the Jewish community be set and how should we leverage our limited resources? How can we collaborate and create synergy with leadership of the greater Jewish community without compromising or diluting authentic and authoritative Torah positions and messages?
As we dialogued and debated questions like these and others, I couldn’t help but think about an important statistic that weighs heavily on me. In a world of billions of people, there are only 15 million Jews. Of them, only a small fraction are Orthodox and within Orthodoxy, only a small fraction define themselves as Modern Orthodox. Those who combine an unconditional and unwavering commitment to halacha and the supremacy of Torah and at the same time value general knowledge and culture, participation in the greater Jewish community and society at large, and lastly see religious significance in the modern State of Israel, are few in number and arguably inconsequential in the greater Jewish scene.
To me, the primary objective of the RCA and others must be to influence our own constituents to live inspired Jewish lives informed by Torah values and rich with Jewish meaning and purpose. Only then can we begin to have an impact on the greater scene and bring Torah’s vision for an ethical and uplifting society to the masses.
If this goal seems unachievable and out of reach, I encourage you to look no further than this week’s parsha and our great patriarch Avraham Avinu and his partner Sarah. They lived in a world saturated with paganism, corruption and selfishness and yet had the courage to articulate and spread the revolutionary message of ethical monotheism. They lived in a world with no mass media, email, social networking, youtube videos, microphones, billboards or newspapers and yet, look at the result of their efforts. Billions of people across the globe believe in one God and the Jewish values of justice, charity and ethical living. Avraham and Sarah likely never dreamt they would earn international fame and acclaim for their efforts. They simply believed they had a magnificent treasure and wanted to share it with others one at a time.
Let’s be like Avraham and Sarah and change the world one person at a time beginning with inspiring ourselves, our family members and those around us. Don’t forget to sign up for S.O.S. II taking place in just a couple of weeks and inspire yourself to inspire others.
You only get one opportunity to make a first impression.
After months of planning and design, this week we finally unveiled the new BRS website – www.brsonline.org We are very proud of its great features including a FAQ section for people who live here, those looking to move and those visiting. We have videos, podcasts, a blog, photo galleries, and much more. We have also included a member login where you can see your statements, pay your invoices, make donations and look someone up on the membership directory. We look forward to hearing your feedback and your help in spreading the word about this great new tool to reach people and spread the BRS mission. Look soon for the BRS app for apple and android. A tremendous thank you is due to Kerry Purcell in our office who put in countless hours, great creativity and hard work to make this new website a reality.
As we put the finishing touches on the new website this week, we kept reminding one another that it represents the face of the Shul to someone looking into who we are. You only get one opportunity to make a first impression and it is critically important to make a positive one if you want to get a relationship started on the right foot.
What is true for a website and a Shul, is true for how we present ourselves to others as well. Our faces are the homepage of who we are and how we are perceived. No matter what is happening in our hearts or our minds, we leave a strong impression on others based on the disposition carried in our faces. Do we project sadness, despair, worry, uncertainty and doubt? Or are we happy, positive, optimistic and joyful.
Rabbi Yisroel Salanter once said that our faces have the status of reshus ha’rabim, they are public domain and we therefore need to be sensitive to the public when we decide what mood we are going to project. The gemara (Kesubos 111b) says that it is better to smile at someone warmly than to provide him with food and drink. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe writes that just as plants require sunshine to live, converting the rays of the sun into nutrients, people too convert smiles into energy and strength, and without it they wilt and perish. Smiling is a uniquely human expression. When is the last time you saw a dog or cat smile?
Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician at Harvard Medical School, authored a study that concludes that happiness is contagious. The same way when one person yawns, it affects others, when one person smiles or is happy it leads to others happiness and smiling as well.
This poem says it best:
It cost nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away!
If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of yours.
For, nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none to give.
We are a people only because of the book
And yet, this is exactly what we do on Simchas Torah in Shuls around the world. We collect all the Torahs from around the shul, sing and dance in a spirited fashion and kiss each Torah as it passes us by. What explains our seemingly bizarre behavior, especially in contrast with the attitude and approach every other legal system and religion brings to their law books?
Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks explains so beautifully:
“A Torah scroll is the nearest thing Judaism has to a holy object. Still written today as it was thousands of years ago — on parchment, using a quill, by a master-scribe — it is our most cherished possession. We stand in its presence as if it were a king. We dance with it as if it were a bride. We kiss it as if it were a friend. If, God forbid, one is damaged beyond repair, we mourn it as if it were a member of the family.
The Koran calls Jews a “people of the book,” but this is an understatement. We are a people only because of the book. It is our constitution as a holy nation under the sovereignty of God. It is God’s love letter to the children of Israel. We study it incessantly. We read it in the synagogue each week, completing it in a year. During the long centuries of Jewish exile, it was our ancestors’ memory of the past and hope for the future. It was, said the German poet Heinrich Heine, the “portable homeland” of the Jew. Some Christians have found it hard to understand the Jewish love of law. To them it sometimes seems like an obsession with detail, the “letter” rather than the “spirit.”
To us, though, it represents the idea that there is no facet of life that cannot be sanctified and turned into the service of God: eating, drinking, relationships, the workplace, the economy and our welfare system. God belongs to society as well as to the inwardness of the soul. Which is why we need law as well as love.”
We live in a world of great darkness in which people are desperately searching for meaning, purpose, happiness, joy, direction, fulfillment, family values, and more. While so much of the world struggles, we are amazingly blessed, fortunate and privileged to be charged by the ideals, values and laws of the Torah that truly provides a prescription for a meaningful life. It is not ours alone and we have no monopoly on its message. Etz chaim hi, lamachazikim bah, it is a tree of life for all those who hold on to it.
As we close in on seven long and intensive weeks that began with the first of Elul and ends with Simchas Torah, many of us feel burnt out, tired, and sick of cooking, eating, long davening and yes, even preparing and listening to sermons and classes. It is no coincidence that exactly when we begin to feel Jewish holidays and observant life are burdensome and difficult that we observe Simchas Torah and remember how fortunate and blessed we are to have Torah and the true simcha it brings.
As we head into the final stretch of this marathon season, I wish you a Chag sameach and a year filled with the simchas Torah, the joy of Torah and simchas ha’chayim, the joy of life.
Chag Sameach
I must admit, I am confounded and conflicted in my emotions.
Zman simchaseinu, Sukkos as a time of great joy, took on a whole new meaning this year with the announcement that Gilad Shalit will be released in the next few days. After 5 years languishing in a Hamas dungeon in an undisclosed location with absolutely no visits or contact from family, the people of Israel or even the Red Cross, Sergeant Shalit is finally coming home.
I must admit, I am confounded and conflicted in my emotions. On the one hand, I feel unbridled joy, jubilation and euphoria. As Prime Minister Netanyahu has said on a number of occasions, “Gilad Shalit is the son of every Israeli family,” and I would add of every Jewish family. Who could imagine the conditions he has faced, the treatment he has received, and the torture he has been forced to undergo by the brutal terrorists, Hamas. The mere thought of his release and return to his family and all of Israel elicits a feeling of boundless happiness.
And yet, on the other hand, I feel unbridled sadness and grief when contemplating the price that Israel must pay to secure Shalit’s return. The release of 1,000 terrorists who are sworn to the destruction of Israel and to the murder of innocent men, women and trouble is a source of sadness, anger, resentment and fear. Undoubtedly, there will be a hero’s welcome and a national celebration when Shalit is reunited with his family. But how will we all feel if God forbid just one of these vicious terrorists being released succeeds in striking Israel again, resulting in casualties?
On the one hand, Israel is showing incredible and remarkable commitment to her soldiers by displaying a willingness to go to extraordinary lengths to bring Gilad Shalit home. Morale in the IDF will surely be lifted by the knowledge that no matter what happens to them, their country will do everything in their power to protect their soldiers and secure their freedom.
However, on the other hand, how do the soldiers who risked their lives to capture these 1,000 terrorists feel, knowing that their efforts are being reversed when the prisoners they arrested will be back on the street and back to planning heinous attacks?
On the one hand, parents and family members of every Israeli soldier must be comforted to know how much the country values each and every soldier. On the other hand, how does the family of those murdered or injured by one of the 1,000 terrorists being released feel about this news?
Sukkos is a time of great simcha, joy, but it is specifically on this holiday that we read Kohelles which reminds us of our own vulnerability, fragility and the futility of many of our efforts. Even under the Chuppa, a moment of incredible happiness, we break a glass to remember the threats, challenges and problems we face.
As we celebrate Sukkos anticipating the return of our beloved soldier, Gilad Shalit, it seems to me to be appropriate to feel unbridled happiness and joy as well as unbridled sadness and sorrow at the same time, after all that seems to always be the Jewish way.
True greatness is not the ability to obey your thirst, it is the capacity to resist your thirst.
We are living in a time and culture that promote happiness, satisfaction and indulgence. Indeed, we are regularly inundated with messages and marketing such as “obey your thirst,” and “just do it.” In that context it is particularly difficult and onerous to observe a fast and to resist the temptation for food and water for a full 25 consecutive hours. And yet, the Torah associates Yom Kippur, the Holiest day of the year, a time in which we can achieve extraordinary heights in our spiritual ambitions, with self-restraint and self-control. True greatness is not the ability to obey your thirst, it is the capacity to resist your thirst and pursue a greater goal.
Judaism rejects embracing asceticism as a path to holiness. Yet, we collectively engage in abstinence from all types of physical pleasure for a full day to prove to ourselves and to God that we can. There is one temptation, one urge and desire that is not included in the abstinence of Yom Kippur, but which I would humbly submit we accept upon ourselves nevertheless. For some, this form of self-denial may be even more difficult than fasting from food and drink. I am referring to speech and the powerful and potent force it represents in this world.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with food. Indeed, we need it to nourish ourselves and to sustain our existence. We are permitted and encouraged to indulge in tasty foods the other days of the year. However, on yom kippur, we achieve angelic status by elevating ourselves above the everyday mundane needs, wants and desires.
Similarly, not only is speech not inherently bad, it is good and serves as the bridge to allow us to communicate with others and Hashem. We should speak freely (but appropriately) throughout the year, but I would like to suggest that for Yom Kippur we accept upon ourselves to try to go a full day without speaking. In fact, some of our most pious men and women throughout Jewish history observed a ta’anis dibbur, a fast from speech, on yom kippur.
Not speaking to others for 25 hours sounds like an impossible goal and unachievable objective. Yet, doing so, I believe, would accomplish a number of goals. Firstly, we would eliminate the temptation to gossip, slander, or speak inappropriately on the holiest day of the year which most certainly would be a great merit. Secondly, by going into the day knowing that we will absolutely not talk for this period of time, we would be able to focus on our davening without feeling pressured to entertain conversation with the person sitting next to us. Lastly and most importantly, not talking to others would force us to spend time talking to ourselves, something we rarely do, but which is a necessary component of self-growth and development.
For many, accepting a ta’anis dibbur, a fast of speech for a full day is impossible. I understand that those with little children or elderly parents, etc. can’t simply check out for a full day. However, I would suggest that every single one of us is capable of observing a ta’anis dibbur while in Shul. Let’s collectively accept upon ourselves for 25 hours not to say a single word while in Shul, even during the parts of davening in which it is permitted to talk.
Throughout the year, when people approach me on the bima during davening, I struggle with my commitment not to talk on the one hand and the importance of not being rude on the other. Of course if there is an emergency or pressing issue, feel free to interrupt me or any of the Rabbis who can be of assistance. However, if you are just coming to say good Shabbos, please accept my apologies if I simply shake your hand and give you a big smile without engaging in a conversation.
Let’s all enter a social contract and commit to use the Sanctuary for davening exclusively and reserve our schmoozing for the lobby. I am confident that if we do, our personal and communal yom kippur experience will be greatly enhanced as a result.
We should be focused on lifting ourselves up instead of knocking ourselves down.
Instead, in this particular email, the author concludes the sentence by saying, “it is natural for each of us to take stock of our accomplishments.” The message continued by listing a series of achievements and milestones the organization celebrated this past year. At first, I reacted cynically and thought to myself, of course, it is much more convenient to focus on success rather than on failure, but what a distortion of the essence of this time of year.
However, after thinking about it for a moment it occurred to me, that maybe they are on to something. Of course Elul, Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are a time to consider our shortcomings and how we can grow, but should that necessarily translate into guilt, negativity and a feeling of failure. Perhaps we would do better to identify our successes, our achievements and with pride, reflect on what went right this past year, so that it can be repeated and expanded to other areas of our lives.
Our main task on Rosh Hashana is to be mamlich Hashem, to coronate God as King. In the process, we should recognize how fortunate and blessed we are, not only to be His loyal servants, but as His children to be princes and princesses, members of the royal family. Indeed, we preface Avinu before Malkeinu in our prayers. We should be focused on lifting ourselves up instead of knocking ourselves down.
Spend time these two days thinking about what went wrong, why did it go wrong and how can we prevent it from going wrong again. But don’t forget to take as much time to focus on what went right and feel pride in the accomplishments and achievements of the past year. I believe giving ourselves positive reinforcement will propel us forward to have an evening greater year ahead.
Shanah Tova,
It’s not too late to get ready.
When it comes to a call with the President of the United States of America, the leader of the free world, our voices are muted, and our input is silenced. The call was a monologue, not a dialogue. It is remarkable to consider that in contrast, when we conference with the Almighty, the King of Kings, the Creator of the World, our voices ring loudly, our input is welcomed and our opportunity to speak freely and openly is invited. We are blessed to have God’s ear, whenever and wherever we choose. We can close our eyes, shut out the world and communicate with our Creator whenever we like.
In less than a week from now, we will be sitting in Shul in marathon davening sessions. Could you imagine signing up to participate in the NY City or Boston Marathons and not training whatsoever? How well would you do if you kept your normal eating pattern and sedentary lifestyle and then just showed up on the starting line to begin the race? Not only would you not win, you would likely not make it past the first few miles. People who participate in marathons train for months, increase their stamina, their concentration, learn how to best pace themselves and adjust their diet to achieve maximum performance.
We are now a few days away from our marathon, two Rosh Hashana days of davening, followed by the intensity of the ten days of repentance and culminating in Yom Kippur. Have we trained adequately? Are we ready to not only qualify or complete the marathon, but to achieve our very best? Are we in maximum performance shape?
We simply cannot expect to just show up on Rosh Hashana and have a meaningful, purposeful, transformation experience. While we will likely blame the davening, the décor, the Rabbi or the location of our seat for why we were not moved or inspired, the truth is that the success of this time of the year is directly proportional to the effort and investment we make in it.
It is not too late to get ready. In the next few days set aside time to meditate and reflect on areas we can improve, mistakes we have made and how they can be avoided, things for which we should be appreciative and goals for the coming year. Give extra time, attention and effort to davening three times a day, preferably with a minyan and hone your ability to connect. Talk to Hashem like you are having coffee with your best friend who wants to hear everything in your life, because He is your best friend and He does want to hear everything.
If we spend time preparing and getting ready, I am confident we will have the best Yamim No’raim ever.
Shabbat Shalom
2023 – 2024 Board of Trustees