Tolerance is a double edged sword.
I am not suggesting that we become intolerant of those who think differently or observe differently. Nor am I suggesting that we not keep a relationship with those who have strayed with the hope that they will return. However, if a person has acted in a unambiguously immoral, or unethical way, when we maintain a friendship, a closeness and an accepting stand, aren’t we impugning our own character and integrity?
We read every Friday night, ohavei Hashem sin’u rah, those that truly love Hashem, hate and reject evil and wrongdoing. Dovid Ha’Melech does not encourage us to hate the individual, but rather his choices. However, there are times when we can’t separate the person from the choices they make and if we truly love Hashem, love justice and honesty then we cannot and must not tolerate or accept the perpetration of that wrongdoing.
To be blunt – if a man refuses to give his wife a get, if a woman has had an affair and continues to hurt her family, if a person cheats in business, or if an individual perpetually and consistently speaks negatively about others, how can we remain friends with them? What does it say about us if we are buddy-buddy with them, invite them to our simcha or have them over for a bbq? What message do we send our children by accepting the unacceptable and tolerating the intolerable?
When confronted by this question, many respond, ‘I am not getting involved,’ or ‘I am not taking a position.’ What they don’t understand is not taking a position is also taking a position and it is one that is deeply offensive and hurtful to the victim of that friend’s behavior. We cannot afford to take the path of least resistance or maintain relationships because it would be too complicated to raise our voices in objection of their choices.
The Rambam writes – a person is a product of whom they surround themselves with. We are defined by our friends. Let’s choose wisely.
How great is our obligation to appreciate our ability to freely visit the Kotel and enjoy all of Yerushalayim.
July 1, 2011 by urjnetworkadmin • Rabbi
Yocheved and I feel so blessed, honored and privileged to be spending this summer in Israel as NCSY’s Scholars in Residence for their summer programs. Hundreds and hundreds of teens benefit greatly from the diverse programs and tours that NCSY offers. Kollel and Michlelet are serious learning programs for boys and girls respectively. TJJ, led in part by our own Rabbi Broide, is bringing 10 busses filled with public school kids. Camp Give combines chesed with touring. I look forward to sharing my experiences with these incredible programs over the summer.
But for now, a general observation. I have been reading “The Prime Ministers,” by Ambassador Yehuda Avner, which recounts the behind the scenes history of the modern state of Israel from a man who witnessed and contributed to it. I can’t recommend this extraordinary book enough for the appreciation it provides of what a blessing Israel is and please God will continue to be.
As my family walked through Sha’ar Yafo (Jaffa Gate) today heading to the kotel, I shared the following story from the book with them. At 4 in the morning a few days into the 6 day war, then opposition leader Menachem Begin awoke with a premonition and turned on the radio. He heard on the BBC that a vote was occurring at the UN to pressure Israel into a cease fire with its enemies whom had been swiftly decimated. In the middle of the night, he called the Prime Minister Levi Eshkol, and begged him to call a special cabinet meeting to approve going into the Old City and conquering the remainder of Jerusalem to unite it. The meeting was called and Begin argued this could be an unique moment that history will not provide again. They must reclaim Jerusalem from the Jordanians before the international community pressured Israel to a cease fire.
A unanimous vote approved of the military operation and just 3 hours later, the now famous statement, “har ha’bayit b’yadeinu,” “the Temple Mount is in our hands” was uttered.
How fragile this precious and sacred gift is and how great is our obligation to appreciate our ability to freely visit the Kotel and enjoy all of Yerushalayim.
On behalf of my family, from the Holy City – Shabbat Shalom